Kevin Kieller
Kevin Kieller is a partner with enableUC, a company that helps measure, monitor and improve UC and collaboration usage and...
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Kevin Kieller | December 20, 2016 |


Classic UC Holiday Verse

Classic UC Holiday Verse Seasonal song and verse for all the UC watchers out there

Seasonal song and verse for all the UC watchers out there

During this festive holiday season, there is nothing more special to me than gathering my wife and three children together to share some of the classic unified communications poems and songs.

Sadly, as an industry we have spent so many years debating the definition of UC that we have not always preserved or revered the deep history of UC song and dance. (In this article, I will focus on classic UC song and verse and will defer lessons and demonstrations of UC dance to my classically ballet-trained colleague Dave Michels.)

For your own family singalongs and bedtime stories at home, I am happy to reprint three UC holiday classics, and then for first time, share lyrics from a newly discovered UC song: "Do You Hear What I Hear?"

Twas the Afternoon Before Year-end

Every Christmas Eve I read this classic UC story to my kids. For our family it has become a cherished holiday season tradition ...

Twas the Afternoon Before Year-End
Twas the afternoon before year end, when all through the place
Not a video conference room was showing, not a single face.
The phone sets were nestled in their bases with care,
In hopes that the big boss would be unaware.

Their presence was "available" and yet they were gone
IMs went unanswered and phone calls rang on.
I lay on the couch, a bag of chips in my lap,
"Working from home" I had said, but really was taking a nap.

Find the rest of the story to share with your loved ones here.

How Mr. Telco Stole UC

When my children were little, I was worried that Mr. Telco might be too scary for them. But as soon as my kids became teens, this story became one of their holiday favorites ...

How Mr. Telco Stole UC
Every Worker
Down in Work-ville
Liked UC a lot.
But Mr. Telco
Who had a corner office in the telco tower
Did NOT.
Mr. Telco hated UC. The whole UC stack.
It was easy to tell he wanted the good old TDM days back.
It was caused by his head being screwed on not right
It is that his thinking was constrained a little too tight.
And I think the most likely reason of all
Is that the market growth for their legacy products was two sizes too small.

With apologies to the incomparable Dr. Seuss, you can find the complete Mr. Telco story to share with your children here.

Fluffy the Cloudman

The holidays are a time for friends, family and tradition. For me, nothing could be more special than sharing a traditional UC&C carol with my closest friends. My family often sings a rousing chorus of this song ...

Fluffy the Cloudman
(sing to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman")

Fluffy the Cloudman, was a hosted, virtual role.
With an Internet pipe and QoS data flow and a two-nines SLA goal.

Fluffy the Cloudman, is future-proof they say.
He was made of bytes but Millennials know that he's in our lives to stay.

Find the rest of this festive tune here.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

The newly unearthed, "Do You Hear What I Hear?" is an ode to the well-loved MOS (Mean Opinion Score) measurement. It's sure to be an instant holiday classic, because nothing says happy holidays like a MOS score of greater than 4.0.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Said the business leader to the attendees,
Do you see what I see
On your laptop screen, attendees
Can you see what I see
A graph, a graph, centered on my slide
Showing voice quality so low we can't hide
Showing voice quality so low we can't hide

Said an attendee to the presenter exec,
Do you hear what I hear
Jitter, echo, packet loss, what the heck?
Do you hear what I hear
Feedback, feedback, high-pitched and very loud
Did you enable QoS when you moved to the cloud?
Did you enable QoS when you moved to the cloud?

Said another attendee to the complainant
Do you know what I know
In your home office warm, and far away
Do you know what I know
Your critique, your critique is far too bold
It's your Wi-Fi router that is too old
It's your Wi-Fi router that is too old.

Said the business exec to the people everywhere
listen to what I say
Attend training, people everywhere!
listen to what I say
UC, UC, can reduce costs alright
But we need planning, experience and insight
But we need planning, experience and insight

To learn more about how to build the perfect UC team with experience, planning skills, and insight, grab yourself an egg nog and click here.

During this holiday season, I want to celebrate the wonderful people who bring us No Jitter and Enterprise Connect, the people who participate in this rich UC community, and all of our family and friends. Wishing you happy holidays and a fulfilling 2017.

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